Claudio Da Silva
Masculinity And Femininity Is Humanity
Updated: May 19, 2020
Should we stop using the words “masculine” and “feminine”? As the yang is in the yin and the yin is in the yang, aren't there masculine attributes in the feminine as well as feminine attributes in the masculine? Indeed, attributing a positive quality to one polarity could deny that quality in the other polarity…
During my experience as a life coach accompanying men and women in their relationships and facilitating men’s circles and during my wife’s work as a yoga teacher, empowering women in their leadership, we observed many different perspectives, sometimes in contradiction and even in conflict with each other as to what the definition of “masculine” and “feminine” is.
In our workshop, we extend the focus of what “masculine” or “feminine” is to the notion of what duality of life is in general. Our daily activities and all manifested phenomenon of the world are a reflection of this duality. How can we balance it and find peace in these polarities, sometimes merging as a beautiful symbiotic unity, sometimes pulled away from each other as two clear opposing magnets? Reality is that the attraction and opposition of these two polarities can be observed in all areas of our daily lives: men/women, home/work, stress/relaxation, control/surrender, etc. Masculine and Feminine are seemingly opposites that arise together. The forces of our actions are always rising together and at the same time with the forces of reaction. It’s an endless mutual interaction.
We focus mostly on the area of relationships. When there are two people coming together in a relationship, the game of duality "attraction-opposition" is immediately at play. You will discover the process of reconciling masculine and feminine through the "7 RE steps of REconciliation":
1. REcognition: Do you recognize the game at play in this specific situation of your life?
2. REaction: What are the feelings generated in you?
3. REverse: What is the link between the present situation and similar past situations? Is what you see outside yourself a mirror of what you have inside yourself?
4. REgret: Is there something to forgive in yourself and/or in others?
5. REquest: What do you really need and how can you ask for it to benefit all involved?
6. REsolution: What new direction did you decide to follow and how can you make it happen?
7. REpetition: Since it takes a few months to adopt a new habit, how can you enact the implementation of your resolution?
During this 3 hour workshop, you choose one or several areas of tensions in your life and bring it/them through these 7 steps of reconciliation, using breathing techniques, contemplation, life coaching, qi gong and yoga approaches. We also touch upon the topics of sexual energy, loving relationships and the importance of bonding and vulnerability in our relationships. This workshop is open to couples, singles and anyone who wants to find peace in the daily stresses of life.
What is always interesting is when the views are being challenged and confronted. The way of reconciliation (unifying in Taoism, Tantrism, Christianity, etc.) is about seeing the duality at play and letting the flow of Life allow us to move through it. If we say "masculine" and "feminine" don't exist because we reject the traditional designations associated to their qualities, then we set the idea that unity actually is already here. This unity could be the case theoretically "in us" but not necessarily in the manifested world around us. On the other hand, if we say these polarities exist and we focus only on their manifestations, then we continuously fuel the polarity which refrains us from existing in peace with unity. Which route is the right one? Is there a right route? We welcome you in exploring and learning how to reconcile the two views.
On a larger scale globally, the idea of "unity through diversity" is faced with the same challenge. One trend supports the idea of getting rid of the differences of cultures, languages, traditions, gender roles, etc. in order to reach unity of all people. On the contrary, another trend wants to celebrate and emphasis these differences. The idea is that the reinforcement of the differences would bring a sense of unity because it gives the right to everyone to live their uniqueness. What is the best route for one human family? This global question parallels what we are faced with daily in the relationship between masculine-feminine energy. Ghandi said "The greatness of humanity is not in being human, but in being humane." Perhaps the greatness is not in being polarized by feminine or masculine energy, but rather existing in the unification of both, thereby being fully humane.